25 Ways to Prank Snape Redux Version
by JenniferR.Song
Summary: Fred and George get their hands on the Marauders' Map in their first year and launch a prank campaign against the greasy git of a Potions professor!
1. The Marauder's Map

Hello and welcome to yet another Snape-gets-pranked-by-Weasleys story. My penname is Moony's Metamorphmagus and I hope you enjoy watching Snape turn funny colors from anger and embarrassment. The reference for this story is pages 191-193 of _Prisoner of Azkaban._ Questions? Simply press the little button at the bottom of the page and ask away. I value opinions, prank ideas, and flames will go toward warming my gecko Draco. He's so cute!

Disclaimer: Don't own, won't ever, don't bother asking. And no, that's not a prank.

* * *

"Is it time, Fred?"

"You betcha, George."

"Good."

Fred and George Weasley, age 11, year 1, were planning their very first prank. They had heard the rumors of the infamous Marauders (from an anonymous source, of course), and decided to see if they could live up to their legacy. They only had seven years, after all, to do so. It was shortly after the beginning of the school year, so as a welcome-to Hogwarts-present, they planned to drop a Dungbomb in the main corridor. They only hoped that Filch would not turn up with that cat of his and spoil the fun.

The corridors were packed with students going to and from class. Behind a statue in a corner, the twins grinned. Fred withdrew said Dungbomb from his robes pocket and, standing up, threw it into the middle of the crowd. Instantly, it exploded, sending the noxious odor throughout the corridor. Students hurried to the exit, now practically stampeding to get away from the stench.

Fred and George high-fived, but their joy was short-lived when they heard an angry hiss. Looking down, they saw Mrs. Norris.

"Oh, no," they said together. Before they could say Quidditch, Filch had appeared.

"You two, my office, _now_," he said threateningly.

Fred and George stood up, and followed Filch to his office. The place wasn't exactly neat, but the filing cabinets were. And boy, were there a lot of them. They squeezed into the cramped office and sat down in two little chairs, while Filch puttered around in the other cabinets. He was talking as he did so.

"I wish they would let me punish you rascals like they used to. I hear disembowelment is a rather _painful_ way of teaching students to behave. Guess you'll just have to settle for detention, huh?" He smiled gleefully.

While Filch was rambling on, Fred and George glanced at the filing cabinets. One in particular caught their attention. It was labeled _Confiscated and Highly Dangerous_. They grinned at each other, and from his pockets, George pulled out another Dungbomb. They both held their breaths. When Filch's back was turned, George dropped it.

The 'bomb exploded and Fred took advantage of the distraction to leap up and yank open the cabinet. His hand found a square piece of parchment. Quickly, he slid the paper into his robes. Still holding his breath, his found his way outside the office and ran as quickly as he could back up to Gryffindor Tower. They had prearranged that when one of them caused the distraction, the twin that did it would run for the common room, and the other would meet up with him later.

Fred skidded to a stop at the portrait of the Fat Lady. She raised a curious eyebrow.

"Now what have you been up to?" she asked.

"Um, ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies?" he ventured.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Password?"

Fred thought for a moment. "Phoenix?"

She swung open to admit him, and he climbed through, making his way up to the dorms. George was there waiting for him.

"You got it?" he asked.

"Did you really doubt me?" countered Fred, taking out the piece of blank parchment. He turned it over and over in his hands, but the parchment stayed stubbornly blank.

"Maybe it's activated by a spell?" George thought aloud.

Fred snorted. "What kind of spell?"

George shrugged. "I don't know."

At the word "I," the parchment flared to life a little, George's wand having been touching it at the time. But the lines faded just as quickly as they had appeared.

"Fred, did you see that?'

"I sure did." This time, Fred put his wand to the parchment and said, "I."

Again the parchment appeared to have lines, but just for a few seconds. Then, to their great surprise, different lines appeared, this time written in shiny green.

_Mr. Prongs would like to register surprise at the sudden attention._

_Mr. Padfoot concurs with Mr. Prongs and would like to know who is trying to unlock us._

Fred and George stared at each other. They hadn't expected this. At once, something their father had once said echoed in their minds.

"_Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."_

They grinned at each other. "Wicked," they said together.

Fred and George put the tips of their wands to the parchment. "Fred and George Weasley, would-be Marauders," they said together. More writing appeared.

_Mr. Moony would like to congratulate Messrs. Weasleys for finding the Marauder's Map and if they do their homework, are sure to figure out the passcode._

_Mr. Wormtail adds that a phrase is the passcode._

"A phrase, huh?" said Fred, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "That begins with 'I'."

For the next hour, they threw out random words to the Map, trying to figure out the phrase. By then, they had accumulated "swear," "that" "up," and "to no good," as well as two "I"s.

George wrote down the words.

"So, what we've got is, "I 'something' that I am up to no good."

The map flashed, showing more lines each time, but there was obviously a few words still missing.

"How about this one? 'I swear that I am up to no good."

The map flared up more, but still didn't open, to the disappointment of the boys. Instead more writing appeared.

_Mr. Prongs would like to know why you two are being so solemn. _

"Solemn. What does that have to do with anything – oh!"

For another part of the map had flashed into existence at the word.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!" shouted the twins together.

Instantly, the map came alive, the lines spreading without hesitation this time, covering the entirety of the parchment. At the top read the following:

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, _  
_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers _  
_are proud to present _

THE MARAUDER'S MAP

To their amazement, they could see little footprints, with banners next to them that read their names. They saw their own names in the Gryffindor common room. Lee Jordan was near the Great Hall and Percy was in the Prefects' bathroom. Dumbledore was pacing in his study, while Filch and Mrs. Norris were prowling the dungeons. There were passages leading off the map to select areas, one of which was Honeydukes in the village of Hogsmeade. Words appeared on one section of the parchment, which seemed to have been reserved for future additions.

_Mr. Padfoot would like to congratulate the Weasleys for opening the Map._

_Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Padfoot and hopes you two will use the Map to sneak food from the kitchens._

_Mr. Moony would like to add that the closing code is "Mischief Managed" and that Mr. Wormtail only thinks about food._

_Mr. Prongs agrees with all the above and wishes you well in all your pranking endeavors and ask that the most unpleasant professor is pranked most._

The twins grinned at the map. "That would be Professor Snape."

For a minute, nothing appeared. Then, more words appeared, messier than ever.

_Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that the greasy git became a professor._

_Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Padfoot and wants to know if he has been in the library recently to know such a large word._

_Mr. Prongs adds that Professor Snape is no friend of the Marauders and should be treated as such._

George tapped the map and said, "Mischief managed." Instantly the map went blank.

The twins looked at each other, possibilities dancing around in their minds.

"Fred?"

"Yeah, George?"

"I think we've just become the new Marauders."

Fred grinned evilly. "And I think we can start by pranking our dear Potions professor."

In another part of the castle, Professor Severus Snape felt someone walk over his grave.

* * *

So, there's our little prelude. I hope y'all stick around and give me ideas. I have a few already set up, but I will need more. None too clichéd, please, although I might take them and put twists on them.

To the reviewers who reviewed this story when it first came out. I hope y'all enjoy reading this brand-new version of events:

Alucard's Vampiress, angel-phantom-babii, mrmistoffelees, xLzM, xXxCaitlinnBlackxXx, and witchdoctor42

So, read, review, and leave me ideas. I reckon about five pranks a chapter should suffice. And I don't know about a sequel when this is over, so _please_ don't press the issue. I don't know when I'll update next. Now that school's over, I have a lot of stuff that's been building and building and building.

* * *

BONUS: For more Snape abuse, I highly recommend the following:

_**Reasons Why Severus Snape Is On The No Fly List**_ by Sonata-Time Master-Koaishine  
Story ID#: 3573296; Author ID#: 568196  
Complete! Final chapter is up! These are a series of shorts listing the reasons why Professor Severus Snape is no longer allowed to fly on an airplane. Hilarity ensues! Rated T for language and crude humor in later chapters. Please read and review!

_**You're a Wizard, Potter**_ by Amsuhl  
Story ID#: 3596798; Author ID#: 1101539  
Completed Snape comes to get Harry instead of Hagrid. Harry, however, is not compliant, and Snape is in for literal hell as he takes Harry shopping and to Hogwarts... Features a very intelligent, and sarcastic, Harry. A slight parody of _Just After Midnight_.


	2. Pranks 1 through 5

First off, a big thank you to all who kept my old story on your alerts. I know it was well over a year since I worked on this but I've finally got around to doing it. (_Crosses_ _fingers_)

Second, I don't know about a solid update schedule. I'm typing this up as I go along, which means I'm feeling my way toward the finish line. Any pranks, within reason, as Fred and George are first-years, are welcome. Stuff available to up to third-year, pushing fourth would be acceptable. They are geniuses, but not that advanced. I have a few classics lined up for this chapter (ergo, clichés) as well as, I hope, some brand new ones in future chapters.

Lastly, as far as sequels go, this one _might_ have one sequel that would take place in Fred and George's second year. I emphasize _might_ because I want to see how this one is received. If there are only a few reviews, then no sequel. If I get a lot, the chances that it will happen go up. That part's up to y'all.

Now that all that's out of the way, allons-y! (Hee, hee, I rhymed.)

Disclaimer: My chances of owning Harry Potter are even worse than y'all's. Get the picture?

_**Edit 9-6-08: Continuity errors fixed.**_

* * *

_**Prank #1**_

Snape walked into Potions class on Friday with a feeling of foreboding and he couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was because the class was first-year Gryffindors and Slytherins. He set them to work on a potion to remove warts and swept around the room, glaring at Gryffindors and awarding points to the Slytherins. He stopped at the cauldron with the Weasley twins. Both of them were shivering, trying to get close to the fire. The potion, which by now was supposed to be a smooth creamy white, was instead a chunky orange. Still, it was better than a few others. Lee Jordan's had turned into black tar. Of course, that still didn't stop Snape from taking off five points from the twins. Each.

It was with a light heart that he said down at the Head Table to eat his lunch. If he had been paying attention to the Weasley twins instead, he would've noticed two very evil grins on their faces. As it was, he did not, and ate his meal quickly and left for his next class.

However, he had only made it halfway to the doors before the lights went out in the Great Hall. He tried to light up his wand, but to no avail. A minute later, the lights came back on.

For a second, there was silence. Then somebody started laughing. Snape looked around, confused. That is, until he conjured a mirror.

His hair was bright pink. Phosphorescent pink. And on top of that, his robes had turned pink as well. He looked like that sixth-year Metamorphmagus in Hufflepuff, who hair had promptly turned the same color in glee.

To everyone's surprise, even Dumbledore's, a message suddenly sparkled into existence above the Head Table.

_To Snivellus Snape,_

_Here's hoping that this prank makes you wash your hair. It did once before, after all!_

_Sincerely,_

_The Ghosts of the Marauders_

Snape's eyes widened.

_No, it couldn't be. Potter and Pettigrew are dead and Black's in prison. And Lupin wouldn't dare!_

He gathered his remaining dignity and stormed out of the Great Hall.

At the Gryffindor table, Fred and George high-fived.

"Prank one complete," they said in unison.

* * *

_**Prank #2**_

For the next month, Snape acted like Moody when it came to his food and drink. He checked everything for prank potions and, by the end of the week, began to relax somewhat when he didn't detect anything.

Of course, that relaxation would be his undoing. As he walked to the Great Hall, he felt a cold breeze on his back. He turned around, but didn't see anything. He shrugged and kept walking.

In a corner, hidden behind a statue, two redheads sniggered.

As Snape walked toward the Great Hall, he heard music. It sounded…familiar, intimidating. And it wasn't until he stepped foot in the Hall that he realized what the song was.

_Star Wars_.

The Darth Vader theme.

He groaned and waved his wand over himself in an attempt to cancel out the song. It worked.

For about three seconds.

"BATMAN! BATMAN!"

There was a rush on Calming Droughts that day.

So it was that Snape learned to watch both his front and his back. But he forgot to mind his head.

* * *

_**Prank #3**_

At the beginning of October, he was walking to a Potions class when Peeves swooped overhead.

"I wouldn't go that way if I were you, Professor Snape sir!" teased the poltergeist.

Snape raised a black eyebrow. "And why not, Peeves?"

Peeves cackled. "Won't say nothing if you don't know!" And he disappeared through a wall.

Snape sighed. It looked like he was going to find out the hard way.

But he met nothing and no one on his way down to the dungeons. He shrugged and began the class despite the nagging feeling something was wrong.

About halfway through, one of the Ravenclaw girls raised her hand.

"Yes, Ms. May?"

The girl gulped. "Sir, did you know you had a bucket above your head?"

Snape froze, then chanced a glance upward.

No sooner had he looked up then said bucket upturned its contents on him. He was soaked head to toe in ice-cold lake water, as evidenced by the water plants also poured on him.

"C-class dism-missed," he said through chattering teeth. As the last of the Ravenclaws slipped out, he added. "And f-five points f-from R-ravenc-claw!"

_**

* * *

**__**Prank #4**_

Only one week into October and the weather had turned cold. Snape was wary more than ever. He had a few suspects lined up, but so far, no pranks had been pulled for him to discover his assailants and he hoped that none would be pulled.

Oh, how wrong he was.

He was drinking his pumpkin juice at lunch when he turned to McGonagall to talk about what might happen for the upcoming Halloween feast. But that wasn't what came out.

"Minerva, will you marry me?"

To say McGonagall was surprised was an understatement. Wide-eyed, he tried again. But, alas, that wasn't meant to be.

"I've always been fond of you."

He snapped his mouth shut and shook his head. His face turned red and without further ado, he swept out of the hall, his normally pale face flushed.

Dumbledore took control of the laughing students, though his eyes were twinkling. "Someone appears to have bewitched our Potions Master into a marriage proposal. I would advise that the guilty party remove the curse before he says something he would regret."

"I think he's past that mark, Albus," muttered McGonagall, who had sunk low into her chair and was rubbing her forehead in exasperation.

But at the Gryffindor table, Fred and George simply smirked.

* * *

_**Prank #5**_

As October slowly crawled on, Snape found himself looking around every corner, checking every drink and all around behaving like Mad-Eye Moody on a bad day.

Yet, he was unable to prepare himself for what happened next.

He had kept an eye on his person all day long. No one had turned a wand on him and he had felt no breezes.

So it was with a satisfied air that he sat down in his seat in the Great Hall.

But it was not with a satisfied air that his chair suddenly emitted a loud, rude sound not unlike Peeves blowing a raspberry. Everyone in the hall suddenly looked at him and Snape felt his pale face flush from embarrassment.

Gingerly he stood and inspected his seat. Perfectly normal. He even poked it with his wand, but it remained stubbornly normal.

He shrugged and sat down. This time, the chair emitted three of the sharp, deep rude sounds. That did it.

Snape fled from the Hall to much laughter.

* * *

That night, in Gryffindor Tower, two red-headed boys who looked exactly alike grinned like little devils and consulted the Marauder's Map about what to do next. Its creators gladly gave advice and before too long, the next prank was ready to roll.

In his room, Professor Severus Snape rocked in his bed like a child, fearing the worst was yet to come.

And he was right.

* * *

So, that's the first five pranks. Four more chapters and then this story'll be done. Hopefully, I have this done before I head back to school, along with my other two. That's in mid-August for me.

To my few reviewers, thanks for the ideas. More wanted!:

RebeccaRoy, ballerinadoll9, and rikkurox.

So, y'all want this updated faster? Send me ideas! Cliché, brand-new, doesn't matter. A couple of Halloween and Christmas ones wouldn't be amiss as that will be the next chapter.

And for now, I say good-bye. Until, then, read, review, and prank!


	3. Pranks 6 through 10

Hi, y'all! (_Skids to a stop_) I'm back! (_Cricket chirps_) Okay, so not the best welcome ever, but hey, at least I'm updating! (_Nervous laugh_) Oh, and the story will mostly be told from Snape's point of view. It would kind of spoil it to tell it from the twins' POV, except at the end of the chapters.

Disclaimer: Mm, no, don't own anything you recognize. Jinx is mine, though. And that's not a prank. That's the cold hard truth. (_Sigh_) Life is so unfair. (**Well, in case you haven't noticed, LIFE ISN'T FAIR**.) Shut up. Oh, and that's my muse of darkness, Cassi. Don't make her angry. Really. Just…don't. (_Shudder_)

_**Edit 9-6-08: Continuity errors fixed.**_

* * *

It had been a week almost since the last prank and Fred and George were already getting bored again. So, with help from the Marauders and the fact that Halloween was fast approaching, the Weasley twins began scheming.

* * *

Severus Snape had also not forgotten the pranks and was hard at work trying to figure out the culprits. His immediate thoughts had been the first-year Weasley twins, but some of the pranks were well beyond their capabilities and so he had dismissed the possibility.

Good for the twins.

Bad for Snape.

* * *

_**Prank #6**_

Snape was stalking the halls late at night when he came across a pair of sixth-years eating their opposite faces off in a broom closet. After sending them on their way to their respective common rooms (one was a Ravenclaw, the other a Gryffindor), and taking away a generous amount of points from each House, he resumed his stalking.

He didn't notice a shadow hiding behind a statue.

The next morning, he got up as usual, brushed his teeth, washed his hair, dressed and started out to the Great Hall for breakfast. In his haste, he did not notice the students who scuttled out of his way.

As he sat down, McGonagall dropped her fork.

"Something wrong?" he asked smoothly.

"Ah, Severus, by any chance, did you happen to look in a mirror this morning?"

"No, I didn't not. Why?"

Wordlessly, McGonagall picked her fork back up and passed her wand over it, transfiguring it into a mirror, and handed it to him. At first, Snape couldn't figure out what was wrong, but as he started to ask McGonagall, he noticed a flash of white. Startled, he bared his teeth in the mirror and found that his canines had been lengthened, probably by a jinx, giving him the appearance of being a vampire.

With a barely concealed snarl at his reflection, he pointed his wand at himself and muttered the counter-jinx. To his surprise, it didn't work. Instead, the countercurse lengthened them even more, so that even when he closed his mouth, the tips were still visible.

"I think you're going to have to wait for that curse to wear off!" Flitwick piped up.

"Thanks," grumbled Snape.

* * *

_**Prank #7 **__(Thanks to Samara Nightshade for the suggestion)_

It took three days for the jinx to wear off, by which time Snape was absolutely furious. Not since his school days had he been treated like this. He had half a mind to Floo that flea-bitten werewolf and find out if he had entrusted the Marauders' secrets to a new generation. No, he would wait. And in the meantime, he would keep working on the prankster's identity.

Halloween was only a week away when the next prank hit. He had been drinking pumpkin juice straight from the kitchens in his quarters when there was a sudden pop and Snape vanished, replaced with a bat who squeaked in furious indignation.

In the kitchens, Fred and George were profusely expressing their thanks to a house-elf for putting a potion in the jug of pumpkin juice that Snape had requested.

"Masters Weasleys are so kind!" he squeaked. "Jinx is glad to help whenever Masters need it!"

The Weasleys grinned maniacally. "We may take you up on that suggestion in the future," said one.

Jinx simply smiled a smile as evil as a house-elf could.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was in his study reading the _Daily Prophet_ when a bat flew in his window.

"Well, hello, little creature," he said, laying his paper down.

To his surprise, the bat landed on his desk, faced him with its winged limbs waving crazily and squeaking crazily in bat language.

"I'm sorry, I don't know that language."

The bat huffed and picked up a nearby quill. Using his mouth, he clumsily wrote on the parchment.

_H – E – L – P – M – E, A – L – B – U – S._

Dumbledore raised a white eyebrow at the bat. Unless the mammal had evolved to a point where it was able to write a legible sentence in English, he was reasonably sure that the bat in front of him was not a real bat. He took out his wand and cast a temporary Translation Charm on the pseudo-bat. Immediately, it burst out in a string of expletives that are not fit to print.

"My dear boy, please refrain from such language," said Dumbledore, trying his best not to chuckle at his unfortunate professor.

Snape glared at Dumbledore. "Is there anything you can do?" he squeaked out, cringing at his voice. It was high-pitched, reminiscent of a person who had been exposed to helium.

Dumbledore waved his wand over Snape and began muttering counter-curses. It seemed to help, for Snape was back to his human form within minutes, surprisingly dressed, but as soon as Dumbledore stopped, there was another pop and Snape-the-Bat was back.

Dumbledore spent half an hour trying to undo the curse, but every time, the curse came back.

"I am sorry, Severus, it appears you are going to have to wait for the spell to wear off. At least with the Translation Charm, you can continue classes."

Snape flew out of the room, leaving a nice pile of guano on Dumbledore's head.

* * *

_**Prank #8**_

Snape glared at the bunch of third-years Gryffindors and Slytherins that had come in for Potions that day. He had spent the past two days as a bat before turning back to normal, though he still had a slight craving for mosquitoes. He set the class to work brewing a Shrinking Solution and did not notice that one of the third-year Gryffindors slipped a vial into his pocket before turning in his official potion flagonfor credit.

He was walking the halls later that day when he heard, "Duck!"

He did not react in time and was hit in the face with a red balloon, while Peeves flew off laughing from doing his deed.

Snape sourly glared after the poltergeist while taking out a cloth to wipe off his face. He was surprised when the handkerchief shrunk in his hand. Hesitantly, he reached up and felt his face. He blanched and headed for the hospital wing, ignoring the laughing students.

* * *

"Severus, what have you done this time?"

"It wasn't me!" protested Snape, his voice nasally sharp. "That poltergeist threw something at my face!"

Snape's nose had borne the brunt of the Shrinking Solution and now was painfully tiny, not its usual hook-shape. Pomfrey looked skeptically at him, but administered the antidote anyway. _Truthfully_, she thought to herself, as Snape's nose regained its usual unique shape, _he looked better with a smaller nose. _

As the Potions Master billowed his way out of the infirmary, she prayed that whoever was responsible for this watched their step around Snape.

* * *

_**Prank #9**_

Halloween finally arrived and the Great Hall was decked in the usual decorations, plus a few unique ones that included a skeleton that talked whenever somebody walked by. It was this unique decoration that was the focus of Fred and George's next prank.

Snape arrived in time for the Halloween feast. Usually he did not go to the feast because he didn't view Halloween as a time for celebration, but he figured that if he did, he could eat the same foods as the other professors and not have to worry about some kind of reaction. Plus, Albus had insisted. Meddlesome old goat.

As he passed the skeleton, he was jerked to a stop when it grabbed his robes.

"Hey, fleshie, stop a moment, would you?" it said in a suggestive, _female_ tone.

Snape grit his teeth, refraining from blasting the skeleton into pieces. It was, after all, a rental.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, you just look like a very lonely man," said the skeleton. If she had a tongue, she wouldn't have been running them over her teeth. And that hand was getting dangerously close to his rear. "And I'm a very lonely skeleton."

Snape was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"Well," said the skeleton. "It's a very hard life, you know, being only bones."

"Ma'am," said Snape in a slow tone. "Am I to understand that you are flirting with me?"

"Ah, give the man a prize."

A few passing students giggled, then ran to their table when Snape glared at them, before turning calmly back to the skeleton.

"As I do not wish to reduce you to a pile of dust," he said slowly and dangerously, "I would suggest that you remove your hand from its location."

The skeleton gave him a sour look before removing her hand and turning her attention to another person. He strode up to the table and plopped down next to Dumbledore.

"Trying to avoid romantic entanglements?" asked Dumbledore. His eyes were twinkling merrily.

"Ha, ha, very funny, Albus."

* * *

_**Prank #10**_

The morning after Halloween, Snape got up as usual and went to classes. He wasn't surprised to see that a few students were missing out of his first class, probably due to overindulging on sweets. The dunderheads didn't know when to stop eating. So he simply noted their absence in his roll book and continued class as usual.

As he walked through the doorway, he heard a thunderous clap. He started and stayed frozen, but nothing happened. His nose didn't shrink, he didn't change form, nothing at all. Cautiously, he took a step forward. Still nothing.

He shrugged and kept on going, figuring that something must've dropped on the floor above and he was overreacting.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice when he bumped into somebody.

"Sorry," he muttered, not sure who it was.

To his surprise, he looked up and saw Professor Vector, who was looking at him with a funny expression on her face. She opened her mouth and when she did there was another loud _BANG_!, this time accompanied by a flash of light. The two professors were thrown on their backs, their eyes shut tight. Snape passed out when he hit the wall behind him.

It took a few minutes for Snape to come back around and when he did, he wished he had stayed unconscious.

There, a few feet away, he saw his own body. In shock, he watched as "Snape" groaned, then sat up.

"Severus?" asked "Snape." But it wasn't Snape's voice, but Vector's.

"Please no, please no," muttered Snape, closing his eyes, and reopening them. He looked down and felt his stomach turned over as he caught sight of Vector's ample chest.

The high-pitched scream that echoed through the castle made everyone's blood freeze.

* * *

In the Gryffindor common room, the Weasley Twins' snickered as they told the Marauders about the success of their suggestion.

"_Mr. Prongs would like to congratulate the Weasley Twins' on their efficient use of a touch-activated Switching Spell._"

"_Mr. Padfoot wishes to thank Mr. Moony for remembering that particular spell._"

"_Mr. Moony acknowledges the thanks and adds that the effects are only temporary. Two days, at the most, with you two being first-years._"

"That's all right," said Fred. "It'll be the best two days of our life."

"And the worst two of Snape's," added George.

* * *

Dumbledore was reading a book on theoretical magic when his Arithmancy professor came barging in, red-faced. He put the book on his desk and smiled at her.

"Ah, Septima, what can I do for you today?"

"Albus," said Vector, in a surprisingly deep tone, "I'm warning you right now. If I find the culprits behind these attacks, I will kill them myself."

"Now, now, Severus," said Dumbledore, who had recovered from the shock of hearing Snape's voice emerge from Vector's mouth. "Killing is never the solution."

Vector's eye twitched. "Really?"

At that moment, Snape, actually Vector, emerged from the stone elevator. The look on the man's face was disgust.

"Geez, Severus, do you ever wash your hair?"

Snape just glared at himself.

* * *

Ah, yes, a Switching Spell. Yes, I know that that's fourth-year material, but just barely into it. As it is, I do believe there is a slight possibility that that last prank could be pulled off, especially when it was done on their clothing. Animals are much more complicated. But really, when I've only had two suggestions, one of which was credited above, what do you expect? I've got a few more, mostly Christmas ones, bouncing in my head, but that won't be next chapter. Instead, more pranks are on their way, and the next chapter will be up even faster, especially if y'all help out.

My special thanks to the following:

RebeccaRoy, ballerinadoll9, rikkurox, Wotcher-Tonks, Samara Nightshade, Shadowed Ember, and phoenixrising93.

So, please review and tell me what you'd like to see done to poor, poor Professor Snape. Now that _Doctor Who_ series 4 is done and I've seen it all (Thank God for Youtube), I'll be working a lot harder over the next month to get this done. That and I've now started another story that is already mostly done on my computer. Once I get these two done, I'll be able to get back to my main story. I hope.

But enough of me! Y'all review!


	4. Pranks 11 through 15

(_Scene is a messy room filled with papers, with words and diagrams scribbled on every inch. From nowhere a crumpled ball of paper flies across the mess; authoress pops her head out of the mess_) Oh, is it update time already? Good, here you go, see you at the end of the chapter for the author's notes.

Oh, yeah, disclaimer (sing-song voice; _Barney_ theme): I don't own, neither do you, so whatever you don't, don't sue me! (sotto voice) Did I mention I can't carry a tune in a bucket if it was glued to my hand? (_ducks back into mess_)

_**Edit 8-10-08**: I messed up and put Sinastra instead of Vector. Now corrected._

* * *

It had taken a week for the slightly modified Switching Spell to wear off, by which time Snape was starting to become a little paranoid. To his disgust (and at the same time, relief), Vector had suggested teaching each other's classes, so that the switch would not be apparent to the students. Any bad attitude from "Vector" in Arithmancy Class was blamed on that female time of the month, which Snape thanked every deity he could think of did not happen.

But as his luck would have it, he only had a week of peace before he got hit with the next prank.

_**

* * *

**__**Prank #11 **__(My thanks to the Harry Potter I PC Game; if you've played it, you know what happens next.)_

By the time the end November approached, Snape had grown as paranoid as, if not more than, Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody. He spent most of his days in his office, having meals delivered by house-elves and only venturing out to teach his classes.

One day, he was sitting in his office grading papers when he heard a knock. Frowning, he got up and went to the door. He cautiously poked his head out. Nobody. He shrugged and went back to his desk.

_Knock_, _knock_.

Startled, he glanced around the room.

_Knock_, _knock_.

Standing up, he drew his wand, and began walking around the room.

_KNOCK, KNOCK._

He stopped at a cabinet, where the knocking was loudest. With a flick of his wand, he opened the cabinet and wished he hadn't.

There, held back by a ward of some sort, was millions, no, _billions_, of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Snape had enough time to register said beans when there was a snap-hiss and the ward broke.

He yelped and tried to duck out of the way, but to no avail. The candies kept coming. In desperation, he shouted, "_Evanesco_!"

To his horrified surprise, the beans immediately doubled, then tripled in both quantity and size. Now they were roughly the size of Quaffles!

Snape couldn't hold it in any longer.

He screamed.

* * *

In another part of the castle, two red-headed boys were conferring with a house-elf, exchanging boxes of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"Well, Jinx," said Fred, popping a red one in his mouth that turned out to be pepperoni. "Thanks for creating the ward."

"And thanks for putting the spells on the beans to make them increase in size and stuff," added George, popping a green bean in his mouth and grimacing. "Ugh, booger flavored."

Jinx grinned, showing pointed teeth. "Masters Weasleys should wait until the next prank to congratulate Jinx."

_**Prank #12**_

Snape poked at the food on his plate. A few days later and he was still finding beans in places he didn't even know he had. Urgh, _disgusting_.

"You need to eat _something_, Severus," said a stiff voice beside him. He turned to see Professor McGonagall.

Snape sighed and began to eat his chicken.

About halfway through the meal, Snape began to feel funny. Not the humorous kind, but the kind where something weird is happening to you and you don't know what.

"Uh, Minerva–" began Snape. But he didn't get as far as her name before he hiccupped.

"Are you all right?" asked McGonagall.

"No, I'm not," hiccupped Snape again. This time, he felt light as a feather.

"Oh, my, Severus!"

To Snape's surprise, he immediately began to rise from the chair and float upwards. Conversation at the House tables stopped immediately as students noticed their Potions professor shooting toward the roof.

"ALLLLBUUUUSSSS!" screamed Snape as his head hit the roof of the Great Hall with a light thump.

"Oh, dear," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling, all the while sniffing Snape's drink. "Seems someone has mixed in dried Billywig stingers with your drink."

"I don't care!" yelled Snape as he bounced along like a helium balloon. "Just get me down!"

"I believe the best antidote to this is to belch."

Snape, now trying to remain upright and failing, stared at the headmaster. "What?"

"You heard him, Severus!" shouted Minerva. "Just belch."

Praying his plan worked, Severus took out his wand and muttered "_Muffilato_" under his breath before letting out a belch that rocked the Great Hall. Instantly, he began to fall back to earth as gravity took over.

"_Arresto_ _Momentum_!" shouted Dumbledore, slowing his progress so that Snape simply stepped from air to ground in one fluid motion.

"Thank you, Albus," grumbled Snape, one of his eyes twitching furiously.

* * *

_**Prank #13**_

After the Great Hall fiasco, it seemed like no student was safe from Professor Snape's wrath. Students found themselves wishing the holidays started the next day just to get away from the irate Potions Master.

Three days after the Hall incident, however, Snape's personality turned around 180 degrees. Literally.

He was just patrolling the corridors when he was suddenly struck by a yellow light that engulfed him fully. When it faded, he had the sudden urge to smile. But it wasn't a voluntary smile, more like a Muggle Botox treatment that froze his face in that shape. Later, he would ironically note that he looked the Joker from the DC comics instead of the Batman he was often compared to by the Muggleborn children.

There was a sudden influx of students in the hospital wing that week for Dreamless Sleep Potion due to nightmares of a smiling Snape and something to do with clowns.

* * *

The first of December approached and all was quiet. No one was stirring, not even a mouse…

Scratch that. No one was stirring, but two red-heads _were_ scheming.

* * *

_**Prank #14**_

Snape woke to a horrible song being played over the school's intercom system.

"_ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME – A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE_!"

Snape groaned and rolled over, trying to use the pillow as a barrier. But the song persisted, out of tune and annoyingly loud.

"_ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME_–"

Snape screamed.

By the time the day ended, Snape had memorized the Twelve Days of Christmas and found to his dismay that he hummed it mindlessly a few times over the rest of the week, which McGonagall found it amusing and Hagrid, being Hagrid, decided to belt out in chorus with the voice, which repeated itself every time it ended.

"ON THE FIRS' DAY 'O CHRISTMAS–"

To everybody's surprise but Snape, Hagrid's tongue was suddenly glued to the roof of his mouth.

* * *

_**Prank #15**_

Two weeks to Christmas, the last day of classes, and Snape found himself in an amusing predicament.

Well, amusing to everyone but Snape.

His entire Potions lab contents had been substituted for Christmas candies. For example, where there was once frog parts were now Chocolate Frogs; also, Cockroach Clusters now substituted for his bug parts. Candy canes hung off every shelf in the room. Snow was gently wafting all over the floor, which, on later inspection, turned out to be pure sugar.

To Snape's disgust, a little Hufflepuff ran up to him and hugged his waist.

"Thank you, Professor!" she beamed, before reaching up and grabbing one of the candy canes.

"No, don't!" shouted Snape.

But nothing happened. The girl simply ripped the covering off the candy cane and sucked on it. No odd effects, no turning colors, nothing. Just candy.

Snape sighed. At least this prank hadn't done much damage. Just made a bunch of kids hyper.

He froze and eyed the little girl, who had yanked the cover off another candy cane and was already starting to quiver.

_Hyper. Greeeaaat… _

* * *

Okay, so I know I said the next chapter was going to be the Christmas chapter, but I had a slight overflow of ideas. I want the next chapter to be one or two more Christmas pranks, a New Years, and two Valentines; the last section should be St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and the end of the school year prank. Oh, dear, will the Potions Master survive with his sanity intact? (_Smiles_ _evilly_)

Thanks to my lovely reviewers:

rikkurox, ballerinadoll9, RebeccaRoy, Wotcher-Tonks, Samara Nightshade, Shadowed Ember, phoenixrising93, and mrmistoffelees.

Now, I have about half the next chapter written. Please send in your ideas, 'cause I really do appreciate them! Thanks a bunch!


	5. Pranks 16 through 20

(_Room is still cluttered; an answering machine cuts on_)

Hey, you've reached Moony's Metamorphmagus! I'm not here right now, so please enjoy the chapter and I'll see you at the end!

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter (_Grins_) Made you look! Sorry, I really don't, but you should've seen the look on your face!

Now, onward!

* * *

_**Prank #16 **_(credited to: phoenixrising93)

One week to Christmas and Snape decided that most of the possible offenders had gone home and thus nothing could happen.

How wrong he was.

As he walked down to the Great Hall, he noticed something strange. Mistletoe. Everywhere. Under foot, over head, on suits of armor, and on tables. The culprit was revealed as Peeves, who zoomed overhead, cackling as he dumped the plant on Snape's head.

Snape scowled and walked on to the Great Hall before he paused, mentally detecting somebody in the shadows.

"Hello?" he asked and almost instantly regretted it, as a familiar figure in shawls and coke-bottle glasses spilled out of the shadows.

"Ah, Severus, how nice to see you oot and aboot" said Trelawney, hiccupping slightly. Snape gagged at the smell of cooking sherry on her breath. Unfocused eyes met his, then slid upward to the mistletoe overhead, then back down again.

"Oh, how romantic," she hiccupped, then proceeded to snog the living daylights out of the hapless Potions Master.

"Mmpf," he managed to get out, but the small woman was strong, especially when she was drunk.

As soon as she came up for air, Snape bolted for his quarters, where he warded the door, using every spell he could think of, both light and dark, to block him off from the Divination Professor.

"Oh, Severus…" came the call from the other side of the door.

His blood ran cold.

"Please, Severus," she tipsily said. He could hear her shawls rustling and the cooking sherry bottles clinking together. "Let me in."

"NO!"

And with that, Severus Snape went to bed and shoved his pillow over his head in an attempt to block out Trelawney's drunken pleas for admittance.

* * *

_**Prank #17 **_(credited to: mrmistoffelees)

When Snape woke up Christmas morning, he felt different. For one thing, he couldn't see a thing. Total blackness encompassed him. He tried to stand up and found he couldn't. Frowning, he tried again and discovered that he now had four legs and was in a box, which he saw clearly when the top ripped off and a young girl's voice squealed.

"Kitty!"

Many expletives burst forth, but the only thing that really came out was.

"MREOW!"

* * *

Snape found out later to his disgust that the girl who had "adopted" him was the same Hufflepuff first-year who had hugged him in class for the candy that wasn't his doing. She had chosen to spend this Christmas at Hogwarts with her new friends instead of her large family that would rival the Weasley bunch.

He spent a total of two days trapped in that feline form (black fur with equally black eyes) before reverting back to normal. Unfortunately, when he did revert, he was surrounded by the girl and a bunch of her friends. Thankfully, he was fully clothed. Without a word he swept out of the room without a word.

* * *

_**Prank #18**_

Snape was planning on spending the New Years in his quarters, but that old goat had decided to make it _mandatory_ to attend the party that would be held at midnight. And, of course, the dozen or two students who had stayed for the holidays were invited too.

He groused to thin air as he took another swig of the firewhiskey he had gotten from Madam Rosmerta. After a quick check for prank potions (Moody would be proud) revealed nothing, he drank.

"One minute to midnight!" shouted Dumbledore, his wand raised high. He was wearing robes with New Year hats and party favors on it. "On zero, we all shoot fireworks from our wands!"

Snape scowled. Must the man be cheery all the time?

"30, 29, 28, 27, 26–"

Another year, another term of dealing with dunderheads. What was the difference?

"20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15–"

By now, the rest of the staff was counting down too.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!"

Fireworks leapt from the professors' wands while the students watched in awe. Then, to everyone's surprise, one particular firework, conjured by someone else, suddenly made a beeline for Snape, who didn't have time to duck as it hit him.

Instantly, the dour Potion Master's robes vanished, to be replaced by a huge diaper, a baby hat that read "1990" on it, and a sash that read "Happy New Year!" A pacifier was also stuck in his mouth, which was quickly spat out.

"Whoever did this," he growled as McGonagall thankfully transfigured his clothing back, "will be expelled when I get my hands on them."

"Now, now, my boy" – Snape's eye twitched at that name Dumbledore insisted on calling him – "it's New Years. Somebody obviously was just celebrating."

Snape growled even more.

_**

* * *

**__**Prank #19**_

The Christmas holidays ended and with that, the quietness that had pervaded the castle. It was the first day back, actually, that made him a little nervous.

Snape was walking around his fourth-year Gryffindor/Slytherin Potions Class when he heard singing coming from outside. He ordered the class to stay put, then swept out toward the source of the noise.

He walked up a nearby corridor where, to his surprise, there was a line of suits of armor singing. The nearest one spotted him and immediately began booming the song again.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

One by one, the rest of the suits joined in.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEVERUS SNAPE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

Snape blinked. Then, one of the suits decided to do a little editing.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A HORKLUMP!"

He glared at the statue of armor, but it finished up the song anyway.

"AND YOU SMELL LIKE ONE TOO!"

A banner suddenly appeared overhead in a shower of confetti.

_To Severus Snape,_

_This birthday song comes complimentary of the Marauder Ghosts._

_Sincerely,_

_Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs_

_PS: Don't forget that bath!_

With a flick of his wand, the banner was destroyed, the confetti banished and the suits of armor returned to their original positions.

Leaving a very, _very_ irritated Potions Master. With a twitching eye.

* * *

_**Prank #20**_

The rest of January passed quietly after the birthday prank, by which time Snape was getting to be a little nervous. After all, Valentine's Day was only just around the bend and he was sure whoever had instigated the previous pranks would strike again on that day.

So it was with a churning stomach and a ready wand he made his way to the Great Hall February 14th.

Breakfast passed smoothly enough, though he hated that everything at the table had changed colors to fit the occasion. He drank the pink lemonade, ate the pink pancakes and pink scrambled eggs, all the while running his wand over them to make sure they didn't have any potions in them, which they didn't.

He missed a small elf hand spraying some kind of perfume on him before disappearing without a trademark crack.

As he stood up to leave, a hand pulled him back down.

"Where are you going, Severus?" purred Sinastra.

"Potions Class, of course," he said, blinking in confusion. His eyes widened as he realized what was happening, especially when he saw not only Sinastra, but also McGonagall, Sprout, Vector, and (he shuddered) Trelawney, staring at him with lovesick expressions.

"Not good," muttered Snape, just as he took off, with the female professors in hot pursuit. To his increasing horror as he ran down the center of the Great Hall, the girls (at least, the ones who had hit puberty, the first and second years weren't affected so much) also took place in the chase, along with a few higher level boys.

He cursed under his breath over and over again as he ran toward his room at top speed. He stumbled in and sealed the door just as the thundering footsteps reached him. For good measure (and the memory of the last time someone had followed him to his room and professed her love was still seared into his mind), he put a silencing spell on the door.

That finished, he crawled into bed and began rocking back and forth.

"I will not go insane, I will not go insane," he repeated over and over again.

His mirror sniffed. "I think you're beyond that point. _Way_ beyond it."

* * *

In the Gryffindor Common Room, the two Weasley boys howled with laughter as Jinx described how Snape was now holed up in his room and refusing to come out.

"How long will the Aphrodisiac Potion last?" choked out Fred.

"Jinx is thinking about just today, as Jinx only sprayed one spray on the Potions Master."

"Brilliant!" said George. "We'll have to improve on that when we get older."

"Yeah," snickered Fred. "Can you imagine it lasting a week?"

His twin smirked. "Oh, yeah."

* * *

Just when you thought the pranks couldn't get worse, they do. Only one chapter to go, then the end. I don't know about a sequel, considering I haven't gotten many reviews. (_Glare_) If I did one, it would only be during the Weasley Twins' second year. Not past then. Oh and Snape's birthday is January 10th, by the way, according to JK. (_Smiles_) I rhymed again!

Thanks and lots of love to the reviewers. And cauldron shaped cookies too!:

rikkurox, ballerinadoll9, RebeccaRoy, Wotcher-Tonks, Samara Nightshade, Shadowed Ember, phoenixrising93, mrmistoffelees, and bella3590.

So, one more, then the end. I'll be working on other stories, so please don't beg for the sequel soon. The others must, must, must, must, must, _must,_ be finished. One's been hanging on for seven months almost. My muses have not been cooperating and school was a right pain in the rear. Bright side, three As, one B. Meh.

As I've said before, please read and review! The last chapter will be up before I go back to school, I promise you that! (_Checks_ _calendar_) Which is a week from today! Whoo-hoo!


	6. Pranks 21 through 25

Whee! Last prank chapter and then the epilogue, which won't be too long, just a few hundred words. I was amazed at the amount of reviews for the last chapter, which, of course, made me work faster on this! So, I won't bug you with an annoyingly long author's note at the beginning, so off you go! Allons-y! Molto bene! Fantastic! Yup, I'm hyper!

Disclaimer: I have a better chance of winning the state lottery than owning Harry Potter. That said, _why haven't I won yet?!_

_**Warning**_: Before reading this chapter, please pour out all beverages to prevent spillage on computers, swallow all food to prevent choking, and be ready with the tissues. Believe me, you'll be glad you did.

* * *

It was safe to say that Snape was not amused by the pranks that were happening to him, but the Valentine's Day prank had really gotten under his skin, though thankfully none of the teachers had. The thought of all those teachers and students, some of the latter male, sent shivers down his spine every time his Occlumency failed him for a moment.

However, it would be the next prank that would start his fall from sanity.

* * *

_**Prank #21**_

February passed, slipping easily into March. As the one-month anniversary of the last prank came and went, Snape began to relax. Perhaps it was because he figured that the Aphrodisiac Potion was the best the pranksters could do or the long amount of time since then, but either way, Severus Snape let his guard down and failed to follow the most important rule in the spy manual.

Constant Vigilance!

* * *

Snape entered his seventh-year NEWT Potions Class (which had four Slytherins, four Ravenclaws, three Hufflepuffs and a Gryffindor), intent on one potion for that day.

"Today we will be brewing Felix Felicis, as today is St. Patrick's Day. Felix Felicis is also known as Liquid Luck. Begin."

Silently, the class broke into pairs and began brewing the potion. When they were done, they turned in their samples and left.

Snape smirked with satisfaction. Nothing so far. Must be his lucky day.

* * *

Snape had just finished his lunch in the Great Hall (green eggs and ham, of all the infernal things; better than the pink at least), when he was engulfed in a green smoke. McGonagall, who had the misfortune of sitting next to him at that time, managed to lean back without inhaling any of the smoke.

Which was lucky for her, considering the results.

When the smoke cleared, there was a decidedly shorter Severus Snape, with green robes, auburn hair, pointed ears, and a very dazed expression.

"Ach, t'would be me luck," muttered Snape, his voice also altered to an Irish brogue, "to be turned into a leprechaun."

Flitwick giggled, a rather disturbing sign from the diminutive Charms professor.

"Oh, shut yer trap, ye wee man," muttered Snape, slumping down in his chair.

* * *

_**Prank #22**_

March slipped easily into April, but Snape did not. The pranks were getting stronger; this time, the prank had taken a week to wear off, during which he had been forced to teach his classes as a leprechaun. As the end of the school year approached, Snape took to counting down the days in his mind. At five weeks, two days to go, the next prank hit. April Fool's Day, as it happened.

* * *

As Snape made the trek to the Great Hall from his quarters, he noticed the students sniggering at him, but stopping and wearing innocent expressions whenever he glared at them.

By the time he had reached the teacher's table, all the students except his Slytherins (who had horrified expressions on their faces) were outright laughing.

"What?" he snapped.

"Um, Professor?" said one brave small Slytherin. "You're wearing Gryffindor robes."

Startled, Snape looked down to see that somehow his black set of robes had been switched for a standard seventh-year Gryffindor set of robes.

"And…your hair too, sir."

Growing steadily more furious with each passing second, Snape conjured a mirror from thin air. Indeed, his normally lank, greasy hair had been replaced with a red and gold Mohawk.

Snape counted to ten in his head to keep from exploding right there on the spot. With a wave of his wand, his hair and robes returned to normal. Without even a word of thanks to the Slytherin, he marched to the table and viciously began attacking his breakfast.

* * *

_**Prank #23**_

It had taken him several months, but he had finally figured out that the pranks done recently were holiday-related. With Easter on the coming Sunday, he braced himself for the worst, but hoped for the best.

Well, you know the phrase, "Hope springs eternal"?

Snape's spring was drying up fast.

* * *

Snape attended Easter lunch with the feeling of a man headed for his execution. His wand was at the ready and he checked every corner before he turned, making most students avoid the paranoid Potions Master whenever possible. A few even dared to make the crazy sign behind his back to their classmates.

After checking his chair for curses, potions, or other magical alterations, he gingerly sat down and began eating, but only after McGonagall had eaten her portion without adverse effects.

At the end of the meal, a beautiful Easter egg appeared on all the teachers' plates. Figuring that the prankster wouldn't dare prank all the teachers, especially Dumbledore, he cracked his egg open.

A multi-pastel cloud of smoke engulfed the staff table, dissipating after a minute to reveal five _very_ embarrassed professors.

Each professor now looked like a lifesize rabbit (A/N: Anyone ever since _The Santa Clause 2? _Yeah, _that_).

McGonagall was now a huge rabbit with emerald-green fur to reflect the robes she had been wearing. Dumbledore was a huge fluffy white rabbit, complete with his half-moon spectacles. Sprout was an earth-green rabbit with brown splotches. Flitwick was a fluorescent yellow rabbit about his original size.

And, of course, Snape was a black rabbit.

"I'm going to kill whoever's responsible for this," muttered Snape under his breath as he chewed on a carrot.

* * *

_**Prank #24 **__(My thanks to Kitchila77. Not quite what you suggested, but close_)

May dawned bright and clear, promising a brighter future.

Just not for Snape.

As he was about to enter the Great Hall, Snape suddenly felt his body go rigid. His mind, surprisingly, was still clear, but as his body began to move on his own, he could tell he was now under a Marionette Jinx, known for inducing funky body movements, but not controlling the mind. Hence, why it wasn't up there with the Imperius Curse.

However, someone had modified the jinx so that it also controlled his vocal cords. To his horror, he began singing the wizarding version of a pop song, not to mention the body movements. (_A/N: How about Prince Charming in **Shrek 2**?_)

"_I'm too sexy for my love,  
Too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me._

"_I'm too sexy for my robes,  
Too sexy for my robes,  
So sexy it hurts,  
And I'm too sexy for Hogwarts,  
Too sexy for Hogwarts,  
Beauxbatons and Durmstrang._

"_And I'm too sexy for your party,  
Too sexy for your party,  
No way I'm doing the hippogriff_!"

At this point, the Marionette Jinx gave out, to the disappointment of the students that had gathered to watch. One even cried for an encore, a mistake as Snape's reaction was to the student–

"One hundred points from Gryffindor!" he bellowed, his eye twitching so badly it was almost shut. Quite reminiscent of Charles LaRousse Dreyfus when confronted with Inspector Jacques Clouseau, actually, from _The Pink Panther_ movie series.

* * *

In the Gryffindor Common Room, two boys and a house-elf began scheming for their grand finale.

And boy would it be a finale worthy of the Marauders.

* * *

_**Prank #25**_

Snape woke up the last day of school with a feeling of uneasiness in his stomach. This past year had been filled with pranks the like of which hadn't been seen since the end of the Marauders' last year at school. Especially the end-of-year feast.

He sat bolt upright.

Last day of school. _Today_.

Snape groaned and wondered if he could get out of the end-of-year feast without suspicion. No, it was required that all teachers attended the feast.

He briefly toyed with the idea of defying the Headmaster before rising and continuing on to what felt like his execution.

* * *

The students were laughing, eating and drinking, with nothing amiss. Still, Snape kept his eyes and ears pealed for any sign of pranks. Slytherin had won the House Cup with his last minute deduction of points from Gryffindor. He still shuddered when he thought of his singing "I'm Too Sexy."

The main course ended without any trouble and the desserts appeared. Snape watched in disgust as the Gryffindors dug in without any sense of decorum, while his Slytherins ate primly. Snape began eating his own dessert, a nice big helping of chocolate ice cream, which, after this year, he felt he had earned.

About five minutes later, he heard Trelawney shriek. Rolling his eyes, he looked around Hagrid's bulk to see the Divination Professor's desserts rising and beginning to float as if underneath the influence of a Hover Charm.

A gasp from McGonagall alerted him to her desserts rising as well. Matter of fact, all the desserts on the teacher's table were rising and floating.

Then, to everyone's surprise, all the desserts aimed for Snape like bullets. He didn't have time to withdraw his wand and cast a _Protego_, so each dessert hit him, covering him from head to foot in gooey treacle tart, hot apple pies, jam-filled donuts and sugar-coated chocolate éclairs, squishy multi-colored jello, thick rice pudding, and of course, half-melted blocks of every flavor ice cream possible.

And a strawberry on top.

For what seemed like an eternity, there was silence in the Great Hall. Even Dumbledore stared with a slackened jaw as to the state of the Potions Master.

Then, making everyone in the Hall jump a foot, Snape began to _laugh_. He howled and snorted so hard that tears were running down his face in rivers, washing away the desserts.

Quickly, Dumbledore cast a spell on Snape that caused the poor man to fall into a temporary sleep. With another wave of his wand, the two men disappeared. A minute later, Dumbledore reappeared, putting what looked like a sock into one of his robe's many pockets. He stood to address the students.

"Someone in this school has been guilty of playing pranks on Professor Snape. I can only hope that the culprits realize that this prank was literally the last straw for him. He will be transferred to St. Mungo's for the summer. Hopefully, by next school year, he will have regained his sanity and will resume his teaching post."

With scattered applause, Dumbledore sat down and the students finished their desserts in silence.

At the Gryffindor table, two red-headed boys gave each other under-the-table high-fives whilst a house-elf in the kitchens at the Gryffindor Table grinned like a maniac.

* * *

Well, I _did_ warn you. Anyway, that's the last of the pranks for this story. A little epilogue chapter is on the horizon though, so please don't consider this story finished just yet.

Thanks to the lovely reviewers. Each of you deserve a Triwizard Cup for reviewing, but as I'm a lowly writer, you'll have to do with imaginary ones:

rikkurox, ballerinadoll9, RebeccaRoy, Wotcher-Tonks, Samara Nightshade, Shadowed Ember, phoenixrising93, mrmistoffelees, bella3590, RandomPersonxdurr, jolie7886, GinnyWeasleyLover, Maya Yin and CrazySmallLady.

So, thanks for reading, now please review if you're not in too much pain from laughing. And the epilogue will be up as soon as I finish it.


	7. Epilogue

As promised, the epilogue. All notes are at the bottom, so keep going.

Disclaimer: I own a copy of all seven books, _Quidditch through the Ages_, and _Fantastic_ _Beasts and Where to Find Them_ and am working on acquiring _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_. Does that sound like I'm JK? No, it doesn't.

* * *

(_At Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters_)

As soon as they hopped off the train, the twins immediately found their mother, with their little brother and sister in tow. Behind the twins, Percy and Charlie also got off the train, but at a more subdued pace: Charlie, because he had just finished Hogwarts; and Percy, because he felt he had to "set an example" for his younger brothers.

"Mum!" they squeaked out as their mother squeezed them in a tight hug.

"I missed you all so much!" she said, letting the twins go and suddenly grabbing Percy in a hug, his glasses askew. Charlie, on the other hand, voluntarily gave his mother a hug to avoid being squeezed, then picked up his trunk and walked through the barrier, Percy on his heels, leaving the twins with their mother and two youngest siblings.

"Now, boys, how was your first year at Hogwarts?" she said, smiling.

The boys looked at each other and grinned.

"Wicked!"

* * *

(_At Hogwarts_)

When the pranks had started, Dumbledore had thought they wouldn't have escalated beyond a few simple ones, such as buckets of water and such, but the food tampering couldn't have been done by a student; the house-elves wouldn't have allowed it. And if Peeves had done it, he would've claimed the credit.

Thus, he had reason to believe one of the culprits was a house-elf.

He now stood in the kitchens, where the Hogwarts elves had gathered. Every surface was spotless, all the pots and pans washed and ready for the next school year. His gaze swept over the silent elves as they awaited Dumbledore's words.

"I would like to know which one of you it was that assisted in the pranks this year."

Not one moved, sneezed, or made any sort of motion whatsoever.

"Well?"

One of the younger house-elves raised her hand.

"Sir, Button be thinking that the Headmaster be making a mistake." Her voice quavered. "No house-elf would dare to be pranking a professor."

Dumbledore looked around at the bobbing heads. "Very well." And he left.

Button breathed out a sigh of relief, then turned to Jinx, who had hidden in one of the shelves.

"Jinx being a bad elf," she scolded him. "No more pranks for Jinx."

Jinx rolled his eyes. "Jinx does what Jinx is told to do. Jinx thanks Button for not telling the Headmaster on him."

The house-elf simply returned to her station, grumbling under her breath.

"Button is thinking Jinx will get in trouble one day and Button not there to clean up after him, oh, no, Button won't!"

* * *

(_At St. Mungo's_)

"Healer Jones! The patient in Room 77 is going nuts again!"

Jones looked up from her paperwork. The man had only been in the Insane Ward for a week, and already he had injured several of her doctors, one of which had suffered a broken nose.

"What's he done this time?" she sighed.

"Well," said the doctor nervously. "He seems to think he's a chicken about to be deep fried."

Jones sighed again. "Well, stun him and force feed him a calming potion. We'll try the Vesanus Potion on him tomorrow. It should be in by then."

The doctor withdrew, shutting the door with an audible click behind him. Jones turned her attention back to the stack of paperwork she was trying to get through.

"Now, where was I…?"

* * *

Vesanus: Latin for "mad" or "insane."

Okay, so not much Snape action in this chapter, but still, the thought of him acting like a chicken about to be deep fried is rather funny. To those who might have remembered a "Doctor Jones" somewhere, I "borrowed" Martha Jones from _Doctor_ _Who_. But Button and Jinx are mine.

Thanks to my wondrous reviewers:

rikkurox, ballerinadoll9, RebeccaRoy, Wotcher-Tonks, Samara Nightshade, Shadowed Ember, phoenixrising93, mrmistoffelees, bella3590, RandomPersonxdurr, jolie7886, GinnyWeasleyLover, Maya Yin, CrazySmallLady, HollyRosalie, yellow 14, Saffygirl, and ixluvxprinny.

So, we reach the end of this story. Will there be a sequel? The possibility still exists, but as I have two other stories to finish, one almost done, the other quite a bit to go, don't expect it anytime soon.

So, please read, review, and I will see you in the future.

Until then,

Mischief…managed!


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